Saw this on the internet, funny as hell...............Contain bad words, Admin/Mod censor it if deemed necessary

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    alphaproduction
    Junior Sergeant
    Junior Sergeant

    Location : Australia
    Registration date : 2012-06-06
    Number of posts : 119

    Saw this on the internet, funny as hell...............Contain bad words, Admin/Mod censor it if deemed necessary

    Post by alphaproduction on Wed Jul 18, 2012 4:49 am

    As a result of DOD budget cutbacks, we are forced to reduce the size of the force. Under CRAP, older soldiers will go on early retirement, thus permitting the retention of lower paid soldiers who represent the Army's future. A program to phase out older soldiers via retirement by the end of the current fiscal year will be placed in effect. The program will be known as Retire Active Personnel Early (RAPE).

    Soldiers who are RAPEd will be given the opportunity to seek civilian employment within the Department of the Army. To that end, RAPEd soldiers will be required to fill out numerous DA Forms (currently in the development, test, and evaluation stage) detailing their education and experience. This phase does not guarantee retired soldiers a civil service position; it does, however, guarantee that the soldier's unique capabilities will be considered before being bypassed in the hiring process. This phase of CRAP is known as Survey of Capabilities of Retired Warriors (SCREW).

    Soldiers who have been RAPEd and SCREWed may request review of their situation by higher authority. This is the Study by Higher Authority Following Termination (SHAFT) phase.

    CRAP policy dictates that a soldier may be RAPEd once, SCREWed twice, but may be SHAFTed as many times as the Army leadership deems appropriate.

    If a soldier follows the above procedures, he or she will be entitled to get Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance (HERPES). As HERPES is considered a benefit payment, any soldier who gets HERPES will no longer be RAPEd or SCREWed by the Army.

    The Army leadership wishes to assure younger soldiers who remain on active duty that the Army will continue its policy of ensuring that soldiers are well trained through our Special High Intensity Training (s***) program. The Army takes pride in the amount of s*** our soldiers receive and can boast that it gives its soldiers more s*** than any other service.

    If a soldier feels he or she does not get enough s***, see your commander. Your commander is especially trained to make sure you receive all the s*** you can stand.



    Gemini
    Senior Sergeant
    Senior Sergeant

    Name : clayton
    Location : Florida
    Registration date : 2011-08-26
    Number of posts : 305

    Re: Saw this on the internet, funny as hell...............Contain bad words, Admin/Mod censor it if deemed necessary

    Post by Gemini on Sat Jul 21, 2012 12:03 am

    Wow.There are no words.Where did you find this!lol

    alphaproduction
    Junior Sergeant
    Junior Sergeant

    Location : Australia
    Registration date : 2012-06-06
    Number of posts : 119

    Re: Saw this on the internet, funny as hell...............Contain bad words, Admin/Mod censor it if deemed necessary

    Post by alphaproduction on Sat Jul 21, 2012 7:53 pm

    there's a tons of good joke on the internet, just type "MIlitary Humor" and you can find many

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    Re: Saw this on the internet, funny as hell...............Contain bad words, Admin/Mod censor it if deemed necessary

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